It's that time again ladies and gentlemen. Time to get our archaeology funny on and make light of our profession. Got a funny one-liner or joke about archaeology? Enter it below and share the wealth. Enjoy!
Archaeology Dirty Jokes and One-liners
- Anyone who fails to see the evolutionary link between man and ape has never used the restroom at a Walmart. ~MiaDambrigo
- Archaeology is like most forms of field science. There's a small army of us at every college or military base.~JohnGallinPi
- Archaeologists dig your features.
- Archaeologists like it dirty.
- Who's your mummy?
- In a thousand years, archaeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.~Olivia Wilde
- If archaeology is just a science than Mount Everest is just a hill.
- Archaeologists assume superposition.
- Archaeologists will date anything!~Anouk Vermeulen
- Underwater Archaeologists do it deeper. And under pressure.~Kirk Pierce
- "Archaeologists are like rabbits, they dig holes and f**k within the group”. ~Nina Eklöf
- Archaeologists, experts in dating methods.~Dan Kearns
- Post-processualists do it with empathy.~Liz Arthur Duncalf
- Archaeobotanists do it for the love of the seed. ~Chris Killeen
- Are you an archaeologist? because I've got a bone in my pants that I'd like you to date.~Sarah Quraishi (Cried when I read this)
- What has been dug cannot be undug.~Martino Correia
- When Archaeologists photograph themselves doing it, they use 2m ranging rods to give you an idea of scale. ~Aidan W T Farnan
- You just want to go down on my transect and grab my lithics, don't you? Adam Wells Davis
- All archaeology research is groundbreaking.
- Archaeologists do it in the dirt. Forensic Archaeologists do it in the dirt with dead bodies!
- My Marshalltown may be short, but my unit goes down 60cm!~Kenneth Terry
- Is that a trowel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ...Nope its a bone (an articulated sheep bone obviously)
- How did the ancient Romans cut their hair?
Answer: With a pair of Caesars.
- What do you call a very, very old joke?
- How do you embarrass an archeologist?
Answer: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
- How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Are you kidding?! Why would we let them do that?! The broken bulb is a national treasure, pointing to our rich, rich history and culture. No, we would rather build a shrine there, and charge admission to see the ‘ancient luminosity device’. Hmmm, maybe we could even sell little figurines.
- What do men and mummies have in common?
Answer: They both like being tied up.
- What do women and trowels have in common?
Answer: They both like it dirty.
- Did you hear the one about the archaeologist that was found knapping on the job?
Answer: Apparently he was stoned.
- "Who's your Daddy?"
Answer: "Australopithecus afarensis!"
- Why do archaeologists like dead people?
Answer: They get enough of those stiffs!