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Sunday, September 18, 2011

30 Dirty Archaeology Jokes and One Liners That Will Have You Rolling In The Dirt!


It's that time again ladies and gentlemen. Time to get our archaeology funny on and make light of our profession. Got a funny one-liner or joke about archaeology? Enter it below and share the wealth. Enjoy!

Archaeology Dirty Jokes and One-liners

  1. Anyone who fails to see the evolutionary link between man and ape has never used the restroom at a Walmart. ~MiaDambrigo
  2. Archaeology is like most forms of field science. There's a small army of us at every college or military base.~JohnGallinPi
  3. Archaeologists dig your features.
  4. Archaeologists like it dirty.
  5. Who's your mummy?
  6. In a thousand years, archaeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.~Olivia Wilde
  7. If archaeology is just a science than Mount Everest is just a hill.
  8. Archaeologists assume superposition.
  9. Archaeologists will date anything!~Anouk Vermeulen
  10. Underwater Archaeologists do it deeper. And under pressure.~Kirk Pierce
  11. "Archaeologists are like rabbits, they dig holes and f**k within the group”. ~Nina Eklöf
  12. Archaeologists, experts in dating methods.~Dan Kearns
  13. Post-processualists do it with empathy.~Liz Arthur Duncalf
  14. Archaeobotanists do it for the love of the seed. ~Chris Killeen
  15. Are you an archaeologist? because I've got a bone in my pants that I'd like you to date.~Sarah Quraishi (Cried when I read this)
  16. What has been dug cannot be undug.~Martino Correia
  17. When Archaeologists photograph themselves doing it, they use 2m ranging rods to give you an idea of scale. ~Aidan W T Farnan
  18. You just want to go down on my transect and grab my lithics, don't you? Adam Wells Davis
  19. All archaeology research is groundbreaking.
  20. Archaeologists do it in the dirt. Forensic Archaeologists do it in the dirt with dead bodies!
  21. My Marshalltown may be short, but my unit goes down 60cm!~Kenneth Terry


Archaeology Jokes

  1. How did the ancient Romans cut their hair?
    Answer: With a pair of Caesars.
  2. What do you call a very, very old joke?
    Answer: Pre-hysterical!
  3. How do you embarrass an archeologist?
    Answer: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
  4. How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Answer: Are you kidding?! Why would we let them do that?! The broken bulb is a national treasure, pointing to our rich, rich history and culture. No, we would rather build a shrine there, and charge admission to see the ‘ancient luminosity device’. Hmmm, maybe we could even sell little figurines.
  5. What do men and mummies have in common?
    Answer: They both like being tied up.
  6. What do women and trowels have in common?
    Answer: They both like it dirty.
  7. Did you hear the one about the archaeologist that was found knapping on the job?
    Answer: Apparently he was stoned.
  8. "Who's your Daddy?"
    Answer: "Australopithecus afarensis!"
  9. Why do archaeologists like dead people?
    Answer: They get enough of those stiffs!



4 Comments:

mannoy@webnatin & statsboard said...

I enjoyed all of them. LOL
thanks

Lauren Axelrod said...

@mannoy

Yes, it's hard not to laugh at most of these.

Anonymous said...

Perfection. These are all hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Is that a trowel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ...Nope its a bone (an articulated sheep bone obviously)

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