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Monday, July 4, 2011

Fourth of July Prophecy: 10 Reasons I Never Celebrate


Please be aware this prophecy of Fourth of July has nothing to do with a number of individuals but rather one in particular. This person experiences luck on Friday the 13th, but is subject to injury and heartache on Fourth of July. They may even see their life come to an end on the 4th of July.
No one seems to know why this person is afflicted with such terrible luck on the day America gained its independence. However, she—by now you know it’s me—never goes near any pyrotechnics, sharp objects, or finds herself in awkward or uncomfortable situations on the 4th.

I hate to put a damper on such a significant day in history, but….ALL of these stories are TRUE! 

Reader discretion is advised.
  1. I was in the stands of my high school on Fourth of July and the firework display came too close. My friend behind me got third degree burns on her legs. I came out untouched, but she was in my vicinity.
  2. I was at a party on the Fourth of July and a drunk kid threw a firecracker in my eye. It exploded and ripped cornea, and I was virtually blind for a month.
  3. When I was a baker, at 3:00 in the morning on the 4th of July, 50 bags of flour landed on me and I stayed propped over the 60 quart Hobart for 3 hours until someone came and got me out.
  4. I was at a restaurant slicing ham on Fourth of July and nicked the tip of my finger off.
  5. I was heading towards my vehicle to go to a Fourth of July picnic—I thought it was pretty safe. As I started to open the door, a teenager (15 mind you) came around the corner in the apartment complex speeding, and texting. He hit my car, and as the car moved towards me all the way into the grass, I threw myself out of the way before I was run over.
  6. I just recently rescued two kittens on the UCF campus. My older cat got  jealous and attacked my face and slide down my arm, causing 4 gashes. I look like I got attacked my Freddy Kruger.
  7. My alternator on my car went out on Fourth of July.
  8. I lost my restaurant on Fourth of July.
  9. I was cooking crème Brule on Fourth of July in a hotel pan. I had let them cool for over thirty minutes, thinking the steam would have dissipated. I was wrong. As a peeled back the plastic covering from the pan, a cloud of stream came out and I singed my hands. I was rushed to the emergency room.
  10. I feel as though every day leading up to the Fourth of July is my last. It freaks me out, like Final Destination.
When in doubt, if you ever……and I mean ever, see me on Fourth of July, RUN!!!!!

For those of you heading for the fireworks, please be safe, and always wear a helmet and knee pads, no matter how stupid you may look.

8 Comments:

Mara said...

You need to check out www.abraham-hicks.com and what they say on Law of Attraction otherwise you won't even be safe in bed on 4th July!!! Hope you have a safe one today!

Emma Springfield said...

I understand. I have no problems with particular days but my mother was jinxed by Friday the 13th. Luckily all the things that happened to her were funny. It was a family joke that we would not let her in a car on that day.

Lauren Axelrod said...

@Mara

I'll check out that site. Yes, that would be another thorn in my side if that happened. Thanks for the safe wishes. I'm heading to your site right now.

Lauren Axelrod said...

@Emma

See now that's the flip side of Friday the 13th. Some people have hilarious things happen to them and others suffer some amazingly awful blows.

Ratty said...

It almost sounds like you've been cursed. I hope your luck begins to change from now on.

Emm said...

Woah! That is incredible that all of that stuff has happened to you, never mind on (or around) the same day. There has to be a way to break the curse.

Lauren Axelrod said...

@Ratty
It seems like my luck runs out around this time, so I tend to hide away with my laptop.

@Emm

Tell me about it. Maybe the trick is, to actually go to an event that tests my comfort zone. Fireworks that come too close I suppose. lol

Anonymous said...

have you tried praying ?? deliverance from this evil? sometimes people do witchcraft to harm us. But we can fight back. Look for deliverance ministries and they will help you. There is no such thing as coincidences sometimes we are bound by a curse that people put on us. Look for bill schnoebelen on "How Jesus sets the captives free".

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