Twitter Users Speak out: 21 Items Archaeologists Can't Live Without on a Dig

Ancient Digger's Twitter followers are the best. Leave it to them to come up with some funny and completely accurate items that archaeologists can not live without on dig.

As for me, I had a hard time deciding.  I like a good bandanna and comfortable shoes. I have these awesome Columbia hiking shoes that are great in the dirt, but what else?

Ok, so, have you seen my hair? It's like Repunzel length, so I would have to say 20 bobby pins, a good hair tie, and maybe some mascara. Yes I said it, mascara. There's no reason to go into the field not looking your best, lol! I like being dirty, but I like being pretty while I'm getting dirty. That sounded dirty, lol.

1. Patience! @Rockhunter710 , Team Hartman
2. Handkerchiefs to their noses filled with earth ... iughhhhhhhhh!!! :P #archaeology. @zoraxhm
3. Good Scotch  @AinslieCogswell
4. Sharpies, trowels, and toilet paper @kbiittner 
5. On a scorching, hot, summers day, gotta have water in a trench!... I always miss post holes without :( haha! @willsmith700
6. I'm ok with Sharpies, but tape measures! The ability they have to vanish has left me baffled for years! @willsmith700
7. Thermos of whisk- uh, coffee. @AccessArtefacts 
8. A nearby pub!! ;) @xCharliBobx
9. Comfortable shoes, a pen that isn't clogged up with dust/mud, some filthy jokes, a perfectly vertical baulk wall. @lshipley805
10. A spray bottle with water is a must have for wall profiles (esp in rock shelters with low light) @kbiittner 
11. Mascara. I like being dirty, but I like being pretty while I'm getting dirty. @Ancientdigger
12. Well tea at a push but obviously a glass or three of real ale would be better , but LOTS of cake naturally :) @tesschwarz
13. A sense of history, a feeling of déjà vu. @thampuran
14. Pants! Also, brambles. Shorts won't hack it.! @processarch
    
15. Kneepads and insect repellant. @SusanLlewellyn
16. A sense of humor!! @thetimetribe 
17. Change of underwear, maybe ten
18. A sports bra. Gotta keep these babies in tact!
19. Sunscreen or Banana boat Oil. Choose your poison!
20. A knife. You'd be surprised how often we can't find one. ‏@JRyme
21. My Marshalltown of course.
    
    
    

So what is that you as an archaeologist can't live without on a dig? Even if you're not an archaeologist, what do you think they can't live without?

Speed Archaeology: Now This Is How It’s Done

How did I ever miss this humorous rendition of speed archaeology. It’s not the video you are use to seeing by Eddie Izzard. This is Eddie in the actual field watching archaeology is all its glory, SLOW.



 There is a grand archaeological surprise at the end so hang in there.

 Have a Great Week Ancient Diggers!

Jokes and One Liners From An Archaeology Themed Halloween

As you know, Halloween is upon us, and while many of you will be bringing your little monsters around trick or treating, I'll be putting up my Christmas tree. Did I say that out loud?

What about the archaeologists who love Halloween? What is it about the holiday that they love?

Archaeology Themed Halloween One Liners

1. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
2. Inspecting and sorting the candy your kids bring back is like touching the shroud of turin.
3. Every item collected already has a date. Phew!
4. It's the only time when we can actually dress like Indiana Jones and all of the kids know who we are.
5. We can mingle with the mummies and skeletons on Halloween.
6. Y0u can actually dress like Helen of Troy and not cause a war. Unless your shroud is see thru, lol.
7. You don't need your tools to assess the damage the candy will do to your midsection. Who cares....It's candy and it's Halloween!
8. It's the only time you can study a form of subsistence (candy) and wear fishnets at the same time.

Archaeology Themed Halloween Jokes

Q. What did the skeleton say to the archaeologist?

A. Give me two beers and a mop

Q. What do you call a friendly dead Egyptian?

A. A Chummy Mummy

Q. Why don't skeletons like parties?

A. They have no body to dance with

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the archaeology party?

A. Because everyone was a goblin

Q. What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?

A. Wrap!

Have a Happy Halloween Ancient Diggers!

30 Dirty Archaeology Jokes and One Liners That Will Have You Rolling In The Dirt!

It's that time again ladies and gentlemen. Time to get our archaeology funny on and make light of our profession. Got a funny one-liner or joke about archaeology? Enter it below and share the wealth. Enjoy!

Archaeology Dirty Jokes and One-liners

1. Anyone who fails to see the evolutionary link between man and ape has never used the restroom at a Walmart. ~MiaDambrigo
2. Archaeology is like most forms of field science. There's a small army of us at every college or military base.~JohnGallinPi
3. Archaeologists dig your features.
4. Archaeologists like it dirty.
5. Who's your mummy?
6. In a thousand years, archaeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.~Olivia Wilde
7. If archaeology is just a science than Mount Everest is just a hill.
8. Archaeologists assume superposition.
9. Archaeologists will date anything!~Anouk Vermeulen
10. Underwater Archaeologists do it deeper. And under pressure.~Kirk Pierce
11. "Archaeologists are like rabbits, they dig holes and f**k within the group”. ~Nina Eklöf
12. Archaeologists, experts in dating methods.~Dan Kearns
13. Post-processualists do it with empathy.~Liz Arthur Duncalf
14. Archaeobotanists do it for the love of the seed. ~Chris Killeen
15. Are you an archaeologist? because I've got a bone in my pants that I'd like you to date.~Sarah Quraishi (Cried when I read this)
16. What has been dug cannot be undug.~Martino Correia
17. When Archaeologists photograph themselves doing it, they use 2m ranging rods to give you an idea of scale. ~Aidan W T Farnan
18. You just want to go down on my transect and grab my lithics, don't you? Adam Wells Davis
19. All archaeology research is groundbreaking.
20. Archaeologists do it in the dirt. Forensic Archaeologists do it in the dirt with dead bodies!
21. My Marshalltown may be short, but my unit goes down 60cm!~Kenneth Terry
22. Is that a trowel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ...Nope its a bone (an articulated sheep bone obviously)

Archaeology Jokes

1. How did the ancient Romans cut their hair?
   Answer: With a pair of Caesars.
2. What do you call a very, very old joke?
   Answer: Pre-hysterical!
3. How do you embarrass an archeologist?
   Answer: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
4. How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb?
   Answer: Are you kidding?! Why would we let them do that?! The broken bulb is a national treasure, pointing to our rich, rich history and culture. No, we would rather build a shrine there, and charge admission to see the ‘ancient luminosity device’. Hmmm, maybe we could even sell little figurines.
5. What do men and mummies have in common?
   Answer: They both like being tied up.
6. What do women and trowels have in common?
   Answer: They both like it dirty.
7. Did you hear the one about the archaeologist that was found knapping on the job?
   Answer: Apparently he was stoned.
8. "Who's your Daddy?"
   Answer: "Australopithecus afarensis!"
9. Why do archaeologists like dead people?
   Answer: They get enough of those stiffs!

Origins of Comedy: Poking Fun at Archaeological Mystery Fabrication

I see it all the time on Twitter. People tweeting out that certain channels are perpetuating the so called pseudo archaeological stories and legends that never existed, but they fit their evidence to match what people will always question. Did that even make sense?

Sketch comedy pertaining to archaeology has been around for quite sometime now, and anytime I take the time to enjoy it, I can’t help but smirk. Everything they exaggerate about these channels, the so called unsolved mysteries, is something all archaeologists and historians want say, but just don’t have the nerve to say it.

This video is a “parody of cheap History channel documentaries that promise much in the way of discovery. Probing the "joke" news bulletin and awkward moments.”

I have to say, the beginning caught me off guard a bit. I was waiting for the punch line and it never really came. Be that my opinion, you can be the judge. I do urge any of you with children to refrain from showing to video to them. It had some vulgarities not suitable to a G audience. Of course, they do use construction paper for the news story which clearly represents the childlike and ridiculous presentation of the information.

In any event, take this video with a grain of salt or a sail, as the Phoenicians were the first seafaring jokesters.

A Cursed Tomb and Colin’s Mummy

Color me a happy archaeology student after watching this hilarious sketch on Whose Line is it Anyway. Greg and Ryan are about to open the tomb of the cursed tomb containing Colin’s mummy.

Using complicated tools to open the tomb and a strict scientific approach, the mummy is unleashed. Who knew the Egyptians had cured baldness or that mummies were from Canada!

Just say no to rugs ancient mummy...lol

Have a Happy Thursday Ancient Diggers!

Archaeologists Do NOT Do Dinosaurs

The problem with archaeology is that most people have no idea what it is or what it entails. There are no fedoras or leather whips and no dinosaurs chasing us around dinosaur alley. So what is the difference? Well, before I let you lose on this hilarious video, I’ll clue you in on the differences between paleontologists and archaeologists.

First I’ll ask you one question. How many of you have seen or heard the Payless commercial about being a paleontologist? You may have noticed those large skeletal beasts in the background. Those are dinosaurs and archaeologists don’t study them, paleontologists Do.

Paleontology is the study of the history of life on Earth, as reflected in the fossil record. They don’t just study dinosaurs, however.

Like Indiana Jones, archaeologists study artifacts. Artifacts are things like tools and pots and other implements made and used by people. Ecofacts are the remains of plants or animals that were used by or eaten by people. Archaeologists also study landscapes, and there is a particular field called Landscape Archaeology, which allows the study of the modified landscapes and the behavior put forth to alter it.

Without further ado, here’s “We Don't Do Dinosaurs!” (The Archaeology Song). Raise your Trowels or a pint a beer, because this is a great ending to a hectic week.

Happy Friday!

Penn State Abington College Professor Dr. Capelotti Creates Trailer For Archaeology Class

It’s your first year of anthropology classes and you’re nervous. You have no idea who to take for classes and the ratemyprofessor reviews are filled with falsified information *smile*.

What if you had another option? If every anthropology professor created a movie trailer for their classes, wouldn’t you be that much more excited about taking them? Well, one Penn State Abington College professor did just that.

“There’s only one name for archaeology!” Dr. Capelotti. Ok, with Indiana Jones subtitles, this is sure to draw a crowd of students for an archaeology class. I say job well done Dr. Capelotti.

Hilarious Archaeology Song Improv

This Archaeology song was created at an improv club. The game is called the Pointing Song and the audience has chosen the word “archaeology”.

You’ll either find this incredibly funny or terribly stupid. I mean, when a comedian sings about digging up old poop and loving it, you can’t go wrong..*smile*.

An Unexpected Discovery By A Guy That Looks Like Indiana Jones

Whaaaaat?! - An Unexpected Discovery - watch more funny videos

Ok, so it's not a real discovery, but it's a parody of sorts (actually an advertisement), and I know how you like those. This one minute short film chronicles an adventure by one so called archaeologist. As he presses on the Ankh, see what happens. You'll never guess!

Here Comes the Archaeologists: Stock up on Beer and Wine for the 76th annual meeting of the Society for American Archaeology (SAA)

Ok, so not all archeologists like beer and wine. I myself am partial to a Sapphire Martini, straight up, extra dirty, with some dirty on the side-smile.

Once a year, archaeologists from the United States, Central and South America, and Britain, dress up like Indiana Jones and head to the nearest deli, stocked with every beer and wine you can think of and they trade field stories. Ok, so that's not what really happens.  They do this after their meetings.

The SAA annual meeting brings together great minds, and a few archaeologists, maybe 3000+, to talk about the latest news and findings in the archaeological field, while drinking ancient beverages.

At a 1993 convention in St. Louis, a hotel where the archaeologists stayed ran out beer, he said. "No one could believe the city of Anheuser-Busch ran out of beer," Czaplicki said.

Another archaeologist remarked, "it was illegal to make objects with ivory from endangered elephants, but mammoth ivory was fine". Bruce Bradley, from the University of Exeter in England

Archaeologists are funny with a few light refreshments. Sounds like more of a party than an anuual meeting, but as Stueber remarks, "At the end of the day, you get a beer". 

 

"It's a pursuit of knowledge, he proclaims. 

 

I love this field!!!

Source

 

The Modesto Bee

Camping in the Buff

The title may get the wheels rolling in your head, it might even make you smirk for a moment, but I have to confess, it's not what you think. My fiance and I are on Spring Break this week, and I, being the first one to do something spontaneous, started to think of a cheap and super fast holiday for a few days. I finished up my discussions and anthropology participant observation paper and thought, why not go camping? It's a perfect time to go, albeit the mosquitoes here in Florida are like T-Rexes on steroids.

I went to the storage unit outside and grabbed my tripod camping grill leaning in the corner and my
tiki torches. I know, torches will attract the not so welcome mosquito raptors, but these torches repel the critters with their lovely and deadly smell. I started stumbling around for, looking for anything that resembled camping gear. To be quite honest, it has been close to 15 years since I've actually camped, so I'm a bit green I suppose. Not to mention, I had a funny experience several years ago when I was life guarding, and 100 of us, camped in the woods.

I went straight too the campsite after work. I still had my bathing suit on and had brought a pair of sweats, a tank top, sports bra, some Columbia hiking shoes, socks, and some deodorant. I was roughing it back then. No makeup! No hairbrush! I suppose I was getting some practice in before I actually became an archaeologist. Besides the point, however. I placed my bag inside a my tent and grabbed a drink. The night pressed on and before I knew it, I was ready for a good night's sleep.

I took off my swimsuit and hung it from a clothespin. I pulled up my sleeping bag over my head, and went to sleep in some underclothes. No sooner did I fall asleep and it was morning. I reached for my bag which was oddly missing and so was my bathing suit. My hiking shoes and socks were still by the opening of the tent. I yelled out and said "ok guys, not funny". No one was there. I heard some laughter coming from the creek, and low and behold, the scene was more than comical. My friends, maybe, were swinging from a rope and landing in the water, in the semi buff. Ok, so not all of them, but a choice few.

I was informed the only way to get my clothes back was to join in their so called fun. A sort of initiation I guess since this was my first summer as a guard. You only live once, so I happily grabbed the rope without hesitation, still in my underclothes mind you, and swung into the water, losing my top in the process.

So, you can imagine my hesitation when it comes to camping with friends. Actually, camping with anyone. You're never to young to pull a fast one. Why is it that the craziest things always happen when you go camping? Do you have a funny camp story?

The Hilarious Eddie Izzard Pokes Fun At Archaeology

Close to three hours ago, I finished my last final. I can't even tell you how relieved I am. I was actually at the  point my brain was starting to shut to down and I didn't the know the difference between Neanderthals and Homo Erectus. One had a big nasal aperture. One left Africa close to 1.8 million years ago. One has a bad reputation for pulling his ladies across the dirt, all while swinging a club in his other hand. Ok, so the last part may not be true, but I needed a laugh.

So here I am, calmly sitting in the library after my exams, buying some last minute gifts on Amazon, and planning my trip to the Smokey's next week. Low and behold, I found myself on YouTube looking for humorous archaeology videos. Why? Well, sometimes archaeology can be mundane. Yes, I said it. I didn't want to write about lost civilizations or another discovery found after a year of digging. I wanted fun. I wanted laughter. I needed a break! Awwwww




Archaeologists will dig for three weeks at a time, turning up maybe one millimeter of top soil that they dated to two weeks ago. Yes, sometimes it's that slow and unexciting. Leave it to Eddie Izzard to give archaeologists a reason to shake their head in agreement. Why do we does this? Because we are nuts that's why!

Just a warning! I couldn't stop laughing at this video and I was in the library with hundreds of people studying for their finals. Opps! lol

Kid Archaeologists: A Quest For Sir Frances Drake's Plate

This video made me smile. At first, I thought I was watching the sequel to Goonies. A bunch of kids riding their bikes, on a quest to find the buried treasure.

Treasure Hunters, Jack and Tom, fight more than just one eyed Willie in this adventure, taking on sea monsters and villains, all in the name of history and Sir France's Drake's Plate.

When Mummies and Archaeologists Fall In Love

Once in a while we have to feature the funny side of archaeology, and this song about a mummy and archaeologist falling in love is too adorable to pass up. Ok, maybe cute is the wrong word-bizarre may be more fitting. The song is composed by John Ritter and appropriately named "The Curse".

Josh Ritter is a masterful lyricist, and deserves puppeteering creditfor his ability to manipulate a story line. After completing his latest album, So Runs The World Away, we strategized about ways in which we could debut some of the songs in a homegrown, unconventional format.

Watch Josh Ritter's Video Premiere of The Curse